Do you struggle with your too-muchness or feel you are not enough?Have you ever thought about why you hide your light from those around you? I’m sure we all do this to some degree, whether we are conscious of it or not.
Maybe you cover up your body and your curves in clothes that keep you from standing out. Or even choose clothing that draws attention away from what you don’t want them to see. Your experiences may have shown you that bad things happen to those who show off their beauty. You may also have been told that if you flaunt your assets, you deserve to be hurt as a result. That is simply not true, and is a reflection of the insecurity of those around you.
I know I have always tried to cover up my intelligence, by either keeping my thoughts to myself, or by dumbing it down to make others comfortable. I have also hidden my emotions or passions to avoid coming on too strong, so that those around you are not offended. I downplay my talents just in case someone else might not appreciate them, and to avoid being criticized or ridiculed. I also keep my deeply held beliefs to myself, since those are what are most precious to me, not wanting anyone to disparage them, for that would cut me the deepest. But in doing all of these things, I have dimmed my light and have forced myself into the tiniest box.
I recently watched a very inspiring and empowering video by Gina Hatzis, The Too Much Woman. Click here to watch. She really illuminates what so many of us do to conform to what society wants us to be, by dimming our light.
This realization of how I have spent so much of my life hiding my too-muchness, brings awareness to how I have gone so far in the other direction, and have felt that I’m not enough. Quite a conundrum.
How can one feel like they are too much, and also not enough?
I think it is a result of trying to be what is expected, as opposed to being true to ourselves. When we are not being all that we are meant to be, embracing all of our gifts and talents, and acknowledging who we really are, we are don’t fit into the norm. We are too much and not enough at the same time.
It is only when we can truly accept and love ourselves that we realize the only box we need to fit into is our own true self.
6 Steps to Unconditional Self-Love
- Write down all the things that you love, or at least like about yourself.
- Write down what you don’t like about yourself, or what you would like to change, if you could.
- Think about why you feel this way. Why don’t you like these things?
- How would it feel if you could love them, even if they are not perfect?
- Practice each day, writing a gratitude and love note to/about yourself, including the things that you don’t particularly like, and trying to find the good in it. Start with one new attribute each day.
- Tell yourself “I love you” throughout your day. Say it as you are rubbing lotion on your body. Say it as you are driving to work. Repeat it as you look in the mirror. The more you say it, and become comfortable saying and hearing it, you will start to believe it.
This is not an instant or even overnight transformation. But it is a gradual shift that begins to occur, and you might not even realize that anything is happening. Then something happens that would normally push you into a cycle of self-loathing, and you realize that you didn’t go there this time. You actually feel good about yourself.
Continue these practices and keep reminding yourself that you are a treasure and precious just as you are. You have something that nobody else does. You have unique gifts and talents that only you possess. Part of why you are here is to share your uniqueness with the world. If the world is a symphony, and your instrument is missing, there will be no harmony. Don’t deprive the world of your light, and don’t dim it down. We need whatever it is that you bring.
You are not too much! You are just right! You are enough!
Don’t hold back, let it shine!
If you enjoyed this article, you may want to check out another article in my blog, Self-love in the 5 Love Languages.